together.

Step up, right foot forward, all weight on the ground
I saw you look back, head turned but mind trying to be found
Hands are reached out as far as your fingertips stretch
We might be far apart, but the fact is, you’re a really good catch
You were what I wanted to come home to
After the thunder hit the lighting said we were through
Where I wanted to go was the place of first meeting
Have satisfaction with a hug and a kiss as a greeting
You’ve got these eyes that remind me of diamonds
They sparkle every time you see the stars shining
And that smile, how beautiful you are
If this is a crime, then I must be charged
Such a sweet taste you’ll give to me
How can I think of anything else, we’re meant to be!
Like a rambling idiot, nothing makes sense
A mix between love, infatuation, and romance
Come, come, come
Run, run run
I’ll follow you
Sway your way towards me
It’s crazy, this is insanity
Veering off towards a beauty only you can hold
Only you, my only one, let me unfold
To you, to a forever, to an infinity
Don’t you walk away, don’t you make my heart bleed
This is said, and this is done
I mean what I mean and I’m going in for the plunge
After you, I’ll be the girl behind the cliché, the pun
So, read this, and let us start a love, a passion, becoming one…

bittersweet.

You stole my heart now hand it back
No Indian givers I was told
You happened to me but now you’re in my past
Let go of my strings, I won’t act in your little puppet show
I’m a woman, not a useless toy
When the fire builds up in your veins
I see no man but just an immature boy
Go straddle someone else and lower your reigns
Maybe then you’ll be more deserving
Maybe a new girl will see that your insides are hallow
You messed with me bad and now I’m unnerving
Isn’t that such a tough pill to swallow?
No, not for you who puffs out his chest
Your true colors showed over time
Try showing some love and a little respect
Lower your drum and let go of the pain in your life
I knew you, you had so much potential
What changed, was it me or did you have a double?
You shared with me your secrets and I saw your scandal
But still, I saw the real you and how you were so lovable
I wish you could turn back from the negatives
I wish we could go back to how it used to be
You were a big part of me, but now I’ve got to live
Got to let you go, yes it really is as hard as it seems
My heart will always ache for who you were
Because I saw greatness and now it’s all over like this song
Who you are now has truly become beautiful
But I’m headed in a different direction towards no more wrong
Running to this new chapter
It’s like a new tune that has begun
The words, they form from smiles and laughter
I have healed, and now the world hears my voice being sung.

the epitamy of love

This scene seems so serene
A dusk, a moon light
A beauty only two can match
To make it a pair, a whole
Of light in the darkest places
A smile, a touch, a perfect kiss
Two hands, two hearts, the perfect gift
Joined together, the perfection of making love
The love, I see it
The passion, I feel it
Where soul meets body,
Where love empowers the mind, making nothing
But at the same time, everything
Make total, and perfect sense.

the old man

Old man, I see you walking on the street

Holding up a sign, just wanting to be free
No food, so weak
All the people walk by to leave you on your feet
No help, living in misery knowing no one cares
Pocket pushers see you
They all pretend you’re not there
Turn their heads away as they can see you have fear
Heads shake, not a friendly face in sight
The air is hot and your body feels so light
No more strength, not a hand reaching out to you
Losing yourself, not a single day is new
Hoping this time you won’t wake up
This dream is much too real
Go home to your Father
Pray the next day will let you feel
Old man, I see you watching me
My every move, for someone else to keep
I want to help, want to make a difference
Even if I see you smile, I will see a chance
You will turn out okay
As I will go to my knees and try to obey
Give to you what I no longer need
A helping hand, and a mouth to feed
You are thankful for me
However there is one thing you do not see
That I need you, too, old man, just let it be
I vow to never lie, to never cheat
Just let me in, let me see inside
Help me let go of my pride
To be seen with rags, not wanting to hide
A witness to my friends, no more lies
I see angels watching over you
As they have for myself
When you die, I hope you know the truth
And rest in peace, old man, for in you I see strength.

you

Come out with words that no one else follows, look into the light and let your eyes fall into the awe of brightness divided by the darkness of the room and your own perception. Go fast, speed things up, take your time, please hurry up. Oh I, I want you to see me through the mirror, look closely, I am smiling back at you. I want to hear your words, I care about what you have to say. I want you to know it will all be okay, I am okay. Come into me like I do with you, let me feel your every move. Listen to the beat of your heart, listen to your sound. So special, like no one else can make. You have your own melody that is telling me I am yours, you are mine, forever, for our whole lives. When the clock rings with every second let go of the past and give yourself a love that could never be replaced. Give yourself me. Here I am, arms wide open, never leaving your side. I have opened up a part of me that only you can have, I will not be shared. Inspiration can only go so far, until it follows your every track of hardship, of letting things go, of love. The most important one of these is love. Do not fret, we can take on the world together. It is okay to be scared, but be strong, stay here, do not run away from a problem. It will be solved, like a puzzle. So frustrating! But never impossible to complete. I see YOU, all I want is you, for you to see me. As I am, as I was, as I always will be. Always falling harder and harder every time I am struck. Such a powerful feeling, move with me, follow my steps.

The child stands still in a meadow
Looking up at the sky.
Seeing different shapes and shadows,
The small child has such marvelous eyes.
What is the age of youth
When imagination goes missing,
How is the sky so blue
Like the red of blood is crimson.
From birth, the beginning equals the start.
Small as the words with a heart so massive,
When does the adult play the role-model part,
Oh when can this feeling be burnt with passion
To witness a first smile, sentence, and step
To hear anothers' laugh caused by yourself
Explain to the child the unhealthiness of owning regrets
Have your high standards, and not a thing less.
There is all this talk about love,
Well honesty comes out when a person has soul.
Be aggressive, let the world drown in your flood.
When all else falls stay true, be you, and let your light glow.

September, September

I used to be a young girl
Young and trapped in a bubble
A pure, innocent girl that had such desire
To get out, to speak her voice
She heard that being free meant responsibility
Knew she had to gain strength and find herself
She wanted to be great, great like a fire
It had a brilliance that would shine
But a burn that would stain like a scar
She was willing to take that risk
Let herself go through the pain
Just to show the world what her eyes see
Inside there is a voice that wants to speak
This voice also wants to listen, oh to listen
To hear a lover speak their feelings,
Let an emotion come out like a real touch
To hear anothers' love, to find its' meaning
Of two lost ones, finally coming together
Joining like words and forming the pieces
Broken hearts scream out in pain
Just like the girl did without her name
She wants to show her beauty and let them see
What everyone else just can't let go of
A day will go by, 24 hours
But how much time can pass
Before she can feel someone reaching out,
Reaching for her and her alone
Real and unique is her heart
Given away, it can be broken
Stop screaming, please open your mind
To me, to me, to the love of your life.

to...you

My eyes have been cleansed to see the world as it is. My mouth has been renewed to speak how I feel. And my hands, they are washed to create pure and innocent stories. Stories of how things are today, not how they were in the past, and not yet how they will be. I can't predict the future no matter how hard I try, you see the gift of waking up will be such a pleasant surprise. Now the only thing I long for and desire are the simple things that may come into my life. Someone like you. Someone who, wherever you are, will break into me like a monstrous child. Pleading with daddy at five in the morning, please take me, father, before the day has even begun. So eager to get out, to have freedom, to be sad that a human just cannot have wings. Know that it really is okay. Have no shame in letting tears roll down your cheek and onto your fingertips as you wipe them away. Let me into your mind, and oh let me into your heart. One thing I ask is you see me as true, for all I can see is the beauty in you. I know you need comfort, but where are you looking? In all the wrong places, I know you can tell I see your fear. One thing for sure is we have ALL been there. Stop hiding your emotions, especially from me, when I am the person who knows how to just let it be. Well i want you to know, how truly special you are, you possess such a gift and you can't even see! One thing I can give is my love for yours to keep. I'll open my heart, if you are willing to receive, such a marvelous beauty, only shared with me. Don't, I beg you, don't run and hide, I am here for YOU always, so forget about your pride. Forget of holding on, because it's clear you need to let go, whoever you are, I WILL be the first to show...how genuine and precious we could be, so keep your eyes open, I'll be waiting for you to come back to me.

put a little passion in your life

My head is full of a mess of ideas. Too complicated, yet I keep asking myself how I can narrow it down. Like a two-way street, very easy. A highway has five lanes. I don’t want any more complex ideas. I just want simplicity. What would someone say if I told them I only mean to do what is true, even if it hurts? Random words slip out of my mouth, weird for you, normal for me. Who is to say they don’t like what I write because they don’t understand it? Well who is to say I love what I write because I completely understand it? Sometimes I don’t even know where I get the ideas I get. But I do. Phrases come to me out of nowhere. My sentences turn themselves into essays. Once I start, I take up pages until I have nothing left. I can see a future just full of love, of absolute peace and kindness. That’s too perfect, though. A little chaos never hurt somebody. Only if it’s your own noise. When you think of a lyric, what do you really take in? What thought comes to you? Do you really pay attention to what it says, or go beyond that and picture what it actually means? One word can change the whole meaning of something. Love, equals a positive. Hate, this equals a negative. So the question is, what equals the neutral? What is the in-between? Such a tough question, with probably the easiest answer. I have no idea what that may be, however, so if you find out give me a call. You see, I never used to have regrets, never used to think “that would happen to me”. And as far as I know, nothing horrible has. One thing I have learned is that no dreams can EVER outweigh its’ possibilities. No matter who you are, no dream is or will ever be too big for your abilities. You shoot, and you score. You don’t look back on the past, you give a huge smile to your future, and you move on with life. Believe, get on that path and follow your ambitions. You will stay golden. Don’t close your eyes and see distant dark places, you keep your eyes wide open and see the light at the end of the tunnel. In other words, keep your head up, let words slip from your lips beautifully and write your poems and lyrics and stories. There is this girl who, in her past always loved to write. From when she was a little girl she was always told to follow her gift, follow what she desires to do everyday. Now she is grown into a young woman, and she can’t seem to stop writing, can’t seem to get words and thoughts and ideas out of her head until she lets them out on paper. She has desires, she has dreams, and all she wants to do is follow them and open her heart and share these things with the world. She no longer thinks twice about if she’s writing things that makes sense. What she puts down are hers and hers alone. It can never be wrong, or right, it can only be hers to share. This girl is me, and all I want to do is give love, show love, receive love. Writing is and I know it will forever be a part of me, of who I really am. So, I have decided to share these things with viewers, with whoever wants to read, as I hope I will receive feedback as well. One thing I wrote in my journal today is, “I have yet to meet someone like I am. Someone who is content with a cup of coffee, a book, a journal and a pen. Someone out there is reaching out, I know it. I can feel it. God, let me help! Just keep writing, Sam.” This is so big for me, this is like a stepping stone. I KNOW there is someone, if not many out there who feels trapped with their words, doesn’t know how to truly express themselves. Let me tell you, I have never been so real except for when I write. There is something truly magical about letting the sense of thought come out on fine print for someone to read. Even if it is only one person. Even if it's yourself reading it. The beauty is that you were able to let a part of yourself go, which can be absolutely terrifying. Please, give yourself a break, bust out your writing material, and just show the world what you are really thinking. SPEAK!

unknown.

For some people, waiting is the only thing they live for. Waiting for something huge to happen with their job, or waiting to get their Master's degree, waiting for love. How long does someone have to truly open themselves up to another, whether it is the right timing or whether it's because it just feels right. Someone once said that time tells everything. Does time tell the truth? Or the prediction of how your life has finally ended up...? I always want to dream big for my life, the whole marriage and kids thing with a great job and success. How about happiness, where does that fit in? If I were to have the love of my life stop dead tracks right before my eyes, would I know it or would i pass it by? There are so many questions I think about, but so little answers. I have discovered that I am no longer searching for the right answers. I just want to live my life and find them along my path. I see the lives of celebrities, how wonderful and happy they all seem to be. But I know not one of them has a perfect life. They all have weaknesses, some with greed, with fame of course, with living in the world. I think how sad that is, how I never want to end up like that. So here i am, blogging about my thoughts on random subjects. I used to have this pattern, this routine of my life, and now I hate patterns, I hate routines. I love spontanaeity. I have never been the type of girl to put on a mini skirt and low shirt in front of boys just to make them like me. Or wear pounds of make up on my face just to attract more attention. Or even the girl with the black hoodie and hair in the face and scars on her arms who talks to no one just to see if anyone notices the difference. No, I'm not that girl, either. However, I still try to work with what I've got, I don't physically harm myself, and I do talk to people. What most people DON'T know is that inside of my own being is a girl that wants to just scream and let herself out of the cage and do what she feels is the right thing to do. Which everyone should do, right? That's what I thought. But everyday I have this struggle, with doing what I know i need to do, what is in fact, right. It's so hard for me to let this part of me go. The part where I can't just open my mouth and talk to someone and be as loving as a person could be. Or the part where I can't stop thinking what I think, just for a moment, just to see how it feels. Many people have told me they just can't figure me out. Well guess what, I can barely figure me out. Do YOU really know who YOU are? How many people out there have truly asked themselves this question, let alone knew the answer? This isn't about answers though, folks. It's about discovering your inner self, your inner beauty. The most important beauty of all. Stop fretting about how your hair looks, if your make up is absolutely PERFECT, if what you're wearing matches what your piers are wearing, if it's the coolest style on the planet. Worry about who YOU ARE on the inside, about how you would look at yourself from another persons' view. And tell me, would you like what you see?

every day I see my dream

Words really cannot describe how much music inspires me. It's like every new song I hear and love, a new idea forms in my mind about Lord knows what. Every day I wake up and try to put my "happy face" on, although some days it seems near impossible. I think about how I can make my dreams come true, about how my story will come to life. It used to be a lot harder, I almost had to accept the fact that there were just some things in life I couldn't do. Then I gained self-confidence, especially after Highschool, and realized sky really is the limit. I would absolutely LOVE to be someones mentor eventually, so that I may help and give wise advice to people who just don't get it, like the way I used to be. There is so much more to life than a party or a relationship that will only last for three weeks. If a thirteen-year-old Highschool freshman lost in the world can magically transform into a nineteen-year-old woman aspiring to be the next Navy recruit, well then I would have to say there is really hope for anyone else that is so called, "lost in the world". I never thought I could be capable of being a leader, or actually be committed to something. Well, this is the story of how I decided I wanted to be a part of the Navy. My interest comes from the desire to have drive, to find discipline, to gain independence and yes, to be financially stable after my years of service. For me, this is MY new dream. This Wednesday night, actually, at six p.m. I take the official test to join, the A.S.V.A.B. Now this isn't to see how brilliant or completely brain dead you are, it's more of an aptitude test, to see what jobs best qualifiy and match up to your abilities. However, after this test I need to travel to Salt Lake City, UT, to take the final physical. After I pass both tests, I will then sign my name to actually be a part of the U.S. Navy. Never in my life have I ever felt this way with flooded mixed emotions of joy, anxiousness, nervousness, but most of all I am just ecstatic to be doing something huge with my life. God gave me life and breath every day for a specific reason, I happen to know, and now is definitely the time to explore what my true purpose is in life. I want so badly to be successful, with much education under my belt, and to not only make my family proud, but to make myself proud. To prove to myself that I can do this, no matter how tough it's going to be. Throughout any hardship, struggle, or temptation, I know I can and WILL get through this journey, this chapter of my life. Anyways, to any of you who have ambitions or high dreams, please do NOT give up on yourself! You can do anything you set your heart and mind to, always remember that.         

words escaping my mind and for the world to see

I can picture a place where people can create anything they desire. More complex than light, the wheel, or even automobiles. Almost like Pandora, but not quite. There will be both strengths and weaknesses, only because weakness helps and encourages and builds one up. It is way more rewarding to fail at something than to never try it at all, and that is what the moto of my story will be. It will also be where anyone can be who they want to be, no matter how unrealistic it is. That's the beauty of a "story". Lately I want to learn art and music, and become brilliant in the works of both. How to draw lines in perfect form, how to play guitar and piano and violin with absolutely no flaws. In the world of Awe, anything can happen. You can be self taught through any experience. Like i said, however, failure will always be there. Much of what I put down is chaotic, it's like words can hardly be explained except in weird and "hard-to-read" sentences, but try to keep up, I'll try. One thing to know is that I will be writing every idea I have, which is a HUGE part of who I am, and I would really appreciate any feedback! So, as my first blog, to whoever is reading this, feel free to contact me and let me know your input!