unknown.

For some people, waiting is the only thing they live for. Waiting for something huge to happen with their job, or waiting to get their Master's degree, waiting for love. How long does someone have to truly open themselves up to another, whether it is the right timing or whether it's because it just feels right. Someone once said that time tells everything. Does time tell the truth? Or the prediction of how your life has finally ended up...? I always want to dream big for my life, the whole marriage and kids thing with a great job and success. How about happiness, where does that fit in? If I were to have the love of my life stop dead tracks right before my eyes, would I know it or would i pass it by? There are so many questions I think about, but so little answers. I have discovered that I am no longer searching for the right answers. I just want to live my life and find them along my path. I see the lives of celebrities, how wonderful and happy they all seem to be. But I know not one of them has a perfect life. They all have weaknesses, some with greed, with fame of course, with living in the world. I think how sad that is, how I never want to end up like that. So here i am, blogging about my thoughts on random subjects. I used to have this pattern, this routine of my life, and now I hate patterns, I hate routines. I love spontanaeity. I have never been the type of girl to put on a mini skirt and low shirt in front of boys just to make them like me. Or wear pounds of make up on my face just to attract more attention. Or even the girl with the black hoodie and hair in the face and scars on her arms who talks to no one just to see if anyone notices the difference. No, I'm not that girl, either. However, I still try to work with what I've got, I don't physically harm myself, and I do talk to people. What most people DON'T know is that inside of my own being is a girl that wants to just scream and let herself out of the cage and do what she feels is the right thing to do. Which everyone should do, right? That's what I thought. But everyday I have this struggle, with doing what I know i need to do, what is in fact, right. It's so hard for me to let this part of me go. The part where I can't just open my mouth and talk to someone and be as loving as a person could be. Or the part where I can't stop thinking what I think, just for a moment, just to see how it feels. Many people have told me they just can't figure me out. Well guess what, I can barely figure me out. Do YOU really know who YOU are? How many people out there have truly asked themselves this question, let alone knew the answer? This isn't about answers though, folks. It's about discovering your inner self, your inner beauty. The most important beauty of all. Stop fretting about how your hair looks, if your make up is absolutely PERFECT, if what you're wearing matches what your piers are wearing, if it's the coolest style on the planet. Worry about who YOU ARE on the inside, about how you would look at yourself from another persons' view. And tell me, would you like what you see?